


Babysitting Duty

by oceansgrey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Babysitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23458774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansgrey/pseuds/oceansgrey
Summary: Mangetsu needs to leave Kirigakure for an extended period of time and guilts Kisame into babysitting.Kisame foolishly says yes without consulting his roommates.
Relationships: Haku & Momochi Zabuza, Hoozuki Mangetsu & Hoozuki Suigetsu, Hoshigaki Kisame & Momochi Zabuza & Terumi Mei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Babysitting Duty

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my WIPS folder for almost a year lol and going through it I wanted to start posting my older Naruto fics since I'm not writing them as much anymore.  
> Enjoy!

“ _What_ happened here?” Mei hissed, her gaze darting from the boys to the absolutely destroyed living room. “You have exactly two seconds to explain before I kill one of you, and it _won’t_ be the children,”

Kisame raised an eyebrow as he watched Mangetsu dramatically sprawl himself over the nearest bench, a mission scroll in hand and a constant monotonous groan coming from the elder Hozuki’s mouth. He was coming back from his last meeting with Fuguki, his mentor insisting he work together with the Swordsmen more than with his own teammates. The argument that had ensued left a bad taste in Kisame’s mouth, now here was his mentor’s superior whining on a bench like a child.

He looked like he wanted someone to pity him, so Kisame supposed he was the unlucky victim.

“Is something wrong?” he prodded.

It wasn’t like the two were close, but it didn’t take a sensory type to know that the leader of the Swordsmen wanted to vent to someone. He had been around him enough times with Fuguki for the two to be amicable, having tagged along on a few missions. Seeing the ‘second coming of the Demon’ as some people were calling him, the man who was known for his ruthlessness in battle and penchant for severing limbs, moping like a sad sack was definitely an odd sight.

And that was coming from Kisame, the man who everyone thought was an odd sight.

Well, everyone except Zabuza, Mei, and Haku. 

“I have to go to Kumo,” Mangetsu whined, picking up his head and giving Kisame a pitiful look.

“And?”

“And?” Mangetsu shot up. “And, that means I have to leave Suigetsu home alone! I’ll be gone for two weeks!”

“He’s old enough,” Kisame shrugged.

“He’s five!” Mangetsu shrieked.

“My mom left me home alone when I was little a few times,”

“That explains a lot…” Mangetsu mumbled under his breath, forcing himself up with Hiramekarei. “Hey, Kisame…”

“No,” Kisame shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’m not doing you any favors,”

“Come on! Do it for your senpai?”

Kisame snorted.

“I’m older than you,”

“You’re not a Swordsman yet, so I have superiority over you,” Mangetsu reasoned. “Please, can you get Mei to watch Suigetsu for me?”

“No can do. She’s off on a mission and won’t get home for another few days,”

“Then Zabuza?”

“He’s got the kid already. Two’s too much,”

Mangetsu pouted, looking up at Kisame with big eyes.

“Then you do it? Please? Pretty please?” he begged in a sweet voice. “Do it for me or else I’ll make sure I cut you limb from limb and leave you to die a slow and painful death in some ditch somewhere and I’ll take Samehada for myself so you never get the chance to become a Swordsman?”

“You’re cruel,” Kisame chortled. “Fine. He’s five, he can’t need that much, right?”

Mangetsu’s face fell into a serious look.

“If you don’t take care of my baby brother to the fullest, I _will_ kill you,” Mangetsu said, tone as serious as the glare he gave Kisame.

Kisame genuinely feared for his life as Mangetsu let out a laugh, patting him on the back.

“I’ll swing by your place with him and some stuff,” Mangetsu said. “Thanks again, man,”

“Sure,”

Kisame had seen Suigetsu from time to time, the kid struggling to keep up with Mangetsu’s long strides as he tried to follow after his brother during the Swordsmen training. Fuguki hated children, Jinin had been neutral to them. Kushimaru and Jinpachi had constantly teased Mangetsu’s miniature clone, while Ameyuri, his personal favorite, would just scoop him up and babble at him.

That had been before most of them died.

He had first met Suigetsu when he was a year old, the baby crying pitifully once he saw Kisame’s face. When he had been a toddler, he ran screaming from him and clung to Ameyuri or Mangetsu’s legs like a barnacle.

They weren’t close.

“Ame nee-chan,” Suigetsu sobbed, hands tugging at Ameyuri’s jonin vest. “No, don’t go!”

“Sorry, pipsqueak,” Ameyuri gave a sad smile at the kid. “I gotta go with ‘Getsu to go beat up some bad guys!”

“Suigetsu,” Mangetsu groaned, kneeling down to free his brother’s hands from Ameyuri’s vest, swinging him to rest onto his hip. “You have to be good and go with Kisame. I’ll be back as soon as I can,”

“No, nii-san,” Suigetsu rubbed a tearstained face into Mangetsu’s vest, the jonin grimacing at the snot that was probably there.

“Maybe I should take your spot,” Kisame offered, feeling incredibly awkward at the exchange. Suigetsu clung to Mangetsu like a lifeline, sobs shaking his small frame. “He’s trembling like a leaf,”

“He’ll be fine once he’s done crying. He’ll tucker himself out sooner or later,” Mangetsu said, handing Suigetsu over to Kisame, the Hoshigaki having his arms suddenly full of a squirming Hozuki. “We need to leave,”

Mangetsu handed Kisame a large bag packed to the brim with who-knows-what, another bag similar to it placed onto the ground beside him.

“I put in plenty of clothes for him, his favorite stuffed animal, his blanket, his-”

“Come on, Mother Hen!” Ameyuri said impatiently, the smell of ozone flooding the air around them.

“No need to rile up you chakra, you gremlin,” Mangetsu mumbled, rolling his eyes. “Please, Suigetsu, be good for me?”

“Uh-huh,” Suigetsu said sadly, the tears starting to slow as he nodded. Mangetsu leaned close to press a small kiss to his little brother’s head, giving a nod to Kisame before they took off away from the gate.

Suigetsu was upset and pouty the whole walk back to the apartment, kicking at rocks on the cobblestone roads of the village, arms folded across his chest as he reluctantly followed Kisame.

Kisame groaned inwardly, praying that Zabuza would come back home as quickly as possible. He was better with kids, though he would never admit it, and Kisame didn’t know how long he could deal with Suigetsu if he took as long until Mei got home. From the letter she had sent, she was roughly a few days away from home, her team returning successful.

“I want nii-san,” Suigetsu mumbled as soon as they got to the front door.

“He’ll be home before you know it,” Kisame sighed, pushing open the door and stepping aside for Suigetsu to walk in. He stomped his way in, only letting his arms drop to the side to take off his sandals and throw them in a pile next to Kisame’s.

It was going to be a rough two weeks.

Zabuza was tired.

Not just in the sense of needing sleep, but in the sense of every fiber of his being ached and longed to just stop moving, to just rest for more than a few minutes.

“We’re almost home,” Zabuza mumbled, more to himself as he shifted Haku, out cold on his back. His kid had improved from all the training they had been doing recently but he had fallen asleep walking the way back. Rather than force him awake and yell at him, Zabuza had a bit of a soft spot in his heart for once and opted to carry him the rest of the way home. After all, Haku was still just a little kid.

All he wanted to do was go home, take a bath as hot as the fires of hell, shovel some food into his mouth and then crawl into bed and sleep for a day. He had been gone a week, and he was starting to miss his teammates and their annoying tendencies.

Zabuza trudged his way back to the apartment, shifting Haku to the side as he fumbled with the key. He barely managed to stick the key in the door before Kisame flung open the door, a look of relief on his face.

“Thank _kami_ you’re here,” he said, giving Zabuza a pleading look. “I need help,”

“With what?” Zabuza growled, ready to drop Haku just to gut Kisame like the fish he was if he got in between him and food and sleep.

“I don’t want fish, I want yogurt!” Suigetsu screamed behind them, and Kisame winced once he heard the noise of something shatter.

Zabuza felt his eye twitch.

Zabuza refused to help until he at least got clean, scrubbing week old grime and blood from his body before putting on a pair of lounge pants and shuffling tiredly into the living room where the kids were, Haku blinking owlishly up at him from his spot on the couch bundled up in a blanket Kisame had probably wrapped him up in.

He made the dire mistake of catching eye contact with Suigetsu, the boy’s eyes wide like saucers.

“Zabu!” he shouted, running and tackling Zabuza’s legs. Zabuza grunted, feeling his body rattle with pain.

“Hey, kid,” he offered.

“Play with me!” Suigetsu demanded, tugging at Zabuza’s hand.

“No,” Zabuza said, watching Suigetsu’s face fall. “I’m tired,”

“Play with me or I’ll cut your toes off while you sleep,” Suigetsu threatened sweetly, and Zabuza felt his lip twitch.

“Hey, dinner’s done,” Kisame sighed, poking his head into the living room. “I made- Zabuza, what the genuine _fuck_ are you doing?”

“Help me,” Zabuza glared over at Kisame, Suigetsu’s grip on his hair tight. The kid seemed happy with himself, kicking his heel into Zabuza’s rib.

“Again, again!” he crowed. “Go, my trusted steed!”

Kisame smirked as he watched Zabuza reluctantly crawl around the floor on all fours, Suigetsu erupting with laughter.

“Did he threaten to cut off your fingers?”

“Toes,” Zabuza gritted between clenched teeth. “Help me or I’m gutting you,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kisame walked over, scooping Suigetsu up and off Zabuza. “C’mon kid, time for dinner,”

“I don’t want it,” Suigetsu kicked, Kisame having to hold him at an arm’s length to avoid getting hit. “I wanna play with Zabu!”

“Zabu is too tired right now,” Zabuza said, sprawling face down onto the floor. “No more playtime,”

“Gonna die on me?” Kisame teased.

“Sadly, I think I’ll live,” Zabuza groaned, a grunt coming from him once something small and warm laid down on his back. “Hi, Haku,”

“Are you okay, Zabuza-sama?” Haku asked quietly, and Zabuza let out a deep sigh while Suigetsu continued his tantrum.

Zabuza tiredly reached a hand around and placed it on Haku’s head, ruffling his soft hair.

At least one kid in the house was well behaved.

Kisame finally sat down, tired to the bone after managing to somehow get Suigetsu to sit still for two minutes to eat the food he had made. It helped that Haku sat still, chewing slowly with dainty movements as the kids sat together at the table.

He watched the two sit and eat, his own plate balanced in one hand, the other extended to a barely awake Zabuza next to him.

“Just open my mouth and slide it in,” Zabuza mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Training that hard?”

“We ran into some bandits on the way back and they put up a decent fight,” Zabuza took the food from Kisame, eating quickly. “When’s Mei coming home?”

“In a few days,”

Zabuza gave him a disgusted look.

“We have to watch Mangetsu’s beast for _how_ long?”

“Two weeks,”

Zabuza rolled his eyes.

“Should’ve told Mangetsu to fuck off,”

“No bad words!” Suigetsu shouted from his seat, playing with his chopsticks more than actually eating with them, using the ends to stab into a piece of the flounder Kisame had cooked for him.

Zabuza glared back at Kisame.

 _“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,”_ he mouthed.

Kisame made a face before going back to eating his own food.

It was silent for a grand total of five more minutes before Haku shrieked. Zabuza all but bolted off the couch to see his ward frowning and Suigetsu snickering, food strewn across the table. While the two of them had been busy eating, Suigetsu had taken a handful of the rice Kisame had made and threw it at Haku, the grains sticking to the side of his face and in his hair.

Kisame sighed, setting aside his and Zabuza’s plates as he got up and helped wrangle Suigetsu while Zabuza picked the rice from Haku’s hair and tried to talk him out of freezing Suigetsu.

Once things were cleaned up and the adults finished eating their now cold dinners, it seemed that things had quieted down.

They could work together and manage Suigetsu together, Kisame reasoned. Besides, Suigetsu had been difficult but not to the point where it was unmanageable. He was just a little brat.

Between two jonin, it couldn’t be that hard, right?

“I’m fine, Ao,” Mei insisted, trying to push herself off of Ao’s shoulder. “I’m not a child anymore,”

“You sprained you ankle, and I’m not risking you straining it more,” he insisted, an arm wrapped under her shoulder to help her hobble back to the village. He took the brunt of their weight, using their slight height difference to his advantage as he held Mei up.

“You might risk straining your back, old man,” she joked, not missing the subtle twitch in the hard line of his mouth.

“You’re not heavy. I’d carry you, but you don’t want me to,”

“I’m _fine_ , Ao. Let me go. I can almost see the gates,”

“Fine, but you’re seeing a medic before you go home,” he said, nodding his head towards the gate as it came into view. “We’re almost there,”

She let out a sigh of relief once he finally allowed her to limp the short distance back to the village as soon as they made it to the gate. A month away from home had been hell as her team managed to complete their reconnaissance mission, the fight on the way out of the noble’s courtyard the hardest part of the mission. She had been too focused on keeping her team safe she hadn’t noticed that she had landed oddly on her ankle until they had been halfway home and Ao commented on how it looked swollen. All Mei was thinking about was going home and being able to just lay in her bed in her pajamas for the next few days she had off and catch up with the boys.

She hadn’t been away this long since Zabuza brought Haku home almost six months ago, and she missed the routine they had established. She missed waking up to Haku climbing up onto her bed to shake her awake gently, the two starting breakfast while Kisame tried to get the forever grumpy Zabuza out of bed. Mei missed getting to come home and curl up on the couch at Kisame’s side, watching as Zabuza went through a basic rundown of Academy education with Haku at the table.

It felt like home, the little ragtag family they had made, and it felt safe, something she strove to come back home to, something she wanted to protect more than the village.

The guards on duty at the gate greeted them, Ao reporting for her that the mission had been successful. He sent her off in the direction towards the hospital, a promise to do the paperwork for her as payment of her taking the brunt of the fight while he chased down the rogue who was in charge of the intel leaks.

With a tired wave, she was off to the hospital.

Her ankle felt much better after the medic healed it for her, a promise to keep her foot elevated should it start aching again for the next week. Mei had been back in the village for nearly three hours, and she still hadn’t gotten the chance to go home and relax.

The roads were quiet in the evening, most civilians holed up in their houses of fear of any troublemakers, the Sandaime’s men still out patrolling despite his growing age. She loathed him deeply, but he had let her and her boys to survive on a whim, and for that she was somewhat grateful.

If given the chance, she would storm into his office in the Mizukage’s tower and gladly burn him alive with her lava or watch him melt from her acid release as revenge, but revenge was a dish best served cold. If she wanted to become Mizukage someday, she had to go about it through a more pacifistic route lest she look like a bloodthirsty usurper.

She took in a deep breath, their apartment building in sight. Her pace quickened, and she couldn’t wait to see the boys, giddiness rising in her chest.

All she could think of was being able to relax after a rough day of travel, already planning in her head what pajamas she was going to wear after a nice hot bath and the way she was going to sleep on an actual bed and not in a bedroll on rocky ground.

She was nearly at the door when she heard someone scream, the voice was vastly different from the ones she was used to hearing.

Leftover adrenaline from the day ran through her veins as she took the steps two at a time, praying the door was unlocked as she reached for the knob. Shouldering the door open, Mei ran into the apartment before coming to a dead stop at the sight before her.

It looked as if someone had tried flooding their apartment, splashes of water strewn across the walls and scattered about on the floor. Zabuza was standing over a puddle in the living room, face in his hands as he let out a scream of frustration. Kisame was trying to balance Haku in one arm, a half-liquified Suigetsu waving a butcher knife in the other while he was yelling, his words unintelligible over the sound of Haku wailing. It looked as if someone had taken one of the markers off the desk and doodled all over the walls, little figures representing familiar faces. A plate of curry was knocked onto the floor, glass shattered around it from where the plate broke. A pair of scissors sat on the coffee table next to one of her shirts, multiple holes cut into the fabric. Something smelled like it was burning in the kitchen.

She felt anger boil up to the surface, fists clenched as she looked at the chaos she had come home to. Her teammates looked overwhelmed, the noise halting to a dead silence once the four realized that she was home.

“Mei,” Zabuza sounded like he was about to cry in relief. “Thank-”

“ _What_ happened here? You have exactly two seconds to explain before I kill one of you, and it _won’t_ be the children,” she hissed, storming over to Kisame and taking the knife from Suigetsu’s hand. “Why is Suigetsu here, and _why does he have one of the kitchen knives_?”

Suigetsu shrieked once she took the knife, fully liquifying himself and dropping to the floor.

“Kid, not again,” Kisame groaned, trying to reach for Suigetsu as he reformed a few feet away, bolting off down the hall and locking himself in one of the bedrooms.

Mei gripped the handle of the knife in her hand tight, forcing herself to not point it at Kisame since he had a very startled Haku in his arms.

“Explain. Now.”

It took a total of ten minutes of Kisame trying to explain what happened with Zabuza interjecting his own commentary for Mei to understand the whole story. Mangetsu dumped his brother onto them for two weeks, and apparently it had only been three days and Zabuza was already contemplating taking Haku and leaving the village. Suigetsu was a terror, she learned quickly, the cute little boy who was always so sweet and called her a princess being an actual demon and responsible for most of the damage in the apartment.

The burnt food was Zabuza’s fault, but that was just because he can’t cook to save his life, so she forgave that.

Apparently, shortly before she came bursting through the door, Suigetsu decided to try out a water jutsu Mangetsu had been teaching him, spraying water all over the living room and accidentally frying the TV. Kisame went to go clean up all the water and prevent the kids from electrocuting themselves when Suigetsu made a dash for Zabuza’s room, which had the Executioner’s Blade in it. When Zabuza stopped him by yelling at him, Suigetsu ran off into the kitchen and got one of the knives from the knife block to “play swordsmen,” not informing Haku of this game and proceeding to chase him around the apartment swinging the knife like a madman. The day before, Suigetsu had decided to liquify himself and take a nap in the tub while Kisame frantically searched for him for two hours, nearly giving him a heart attack. The day before _that_ , he had thrown a tantrum for an hour because he missed his brother and demanded that Zabuza go get Mangetsu and Ameyuri and bring them home _immediately_.

Suigetsu also slept sporadically and had unending amounts of energy. Kisame and Zabuza had been trying to take shifts to watch him, but both of them were sleep deprived and starting to wear out.

“And that’s about it,” Kisame wrapped up.

“You better clean this up,” Mei threatened.

“I will,”

“How could you just say that you’d watch him for two weeks without consulting either of us?”

Kisame shrugged.

“You both weren’t home. I didn’t realize he would be…”

“An actual hellspawn?” Zabuza supplemented.

“…Yeah,”

Mei sighed, the repetitive _thuds_ of Suigetsu kicking the wall in her bedroom grating on her ears.

“I’m going to go take a shower, and by the time I get out, this place will be spotless,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I swear, you two will put me in an early grave…”

The boys mumbled something to one another before heading off to grab cleaning supplies as Mei turned to walk down the hall. The pounding grew louder the closer she got to her room, gripping the handle to no avail.

“Suigetsu,” she said, voice rising. “Open the door,”

“No!” he shouted. “You’re gonna yell at me!”

“Open. The. Door.”

“No!”

“Suigetsu, open this door right now!” Mei shouted, using the heel of her hand to pound against the wood. “Get out of my room!”

The door swung open, Suigetsu’s cheeks puffed up like a fish’s in anger.

“You’re mean!” he stomped off down the hall. “I thought you were a nice lady! I’m telling my brother!”

“Go ahead and tell him!” Mei huffed, the realization that she was arguing with a child setting in. “Brat,”

She heard Suigetsu ask Zabuza something in the background, drowning out the rest of the noise as she went to go take a bath.

“C’mon, c’mon,” Mangetsu repeated, bouncing on the balls of his feet as they headed back. “I wanna go see Suigetsu!”

“Alright, alright!” Ameyuri slowed down, covering her mouth as she fell into a coughing fit. “You’re killing me, ‘Getsu. Go off without me and go pick up the kid,”

Mangetsu couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face, taking off at full speed towards the village.

It had only been a week.

Mangetsu took the steps up to Kisame’s apartment two at a time, excited to see his little brother after so long. He worried constantly, opting to finish the mission with Ameyuri a few days earlier than expected in order to rush home. Suigetsu was the only family he came home to, and he missed him terribly.

Mangetsu gripped the handle, twisting it roughly to burst through the door.

“I’m back!” he shouted, shutting the door behind him.

The air in the apartment, usually welcoming and warm, suddenly felt cool and dangerous.

“ _You_ ,”

Mangetsu felt a shiver run down his spine as Zabuza came to greet him first, a sleeping Suigetsu in one arm.

“Where’s Kisame and Mei?”

“Sleeping,” Zabuza glared. “Take your demon brother and get the fuck out of my apartment,”

“That’s no way to speak to your senpai-”

“Your brother destroyed my living room and ruined any chance of us getting our security deposit back because of water damage because _someone_ decided to teach him the water wall jutsu before he left for Kumo,”

Mangetsu raised a brow, peering past Zabuza’s shoulder and into the rest of the apartment. It did look a lot messier than it usually was, and he could see Mei and Kisame passed out together on the couch, Haku in between them. He then took in the appearance of the wielder of Kubikiribocho, noting the darker than usual circles under his eyes, the disheveled appearance, the air of exhaustion around him.

“Was he _really_ that bad?”

“What do you think?” Zabuza handed Suigetsu off. “He’s your problem,”

Suigetsu stirred once Mangetsu held him, a small hand rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey, squirt,” Mangetsu said, unable to stop the smile that broke out on his face. Suigetsu opened his eyes, all traces of his nap gone as he beamed up at his brother.

“Nii-san!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs, wrapping his arms around Mangetsu’s neck in a tight hold. “I missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” Mangetsu admitted, hugging him back. “Thank you, guys, for watching him,”

“Anytime,” Zabuza said tiredly, handing over Suigetsu’s backpack. “Now _leave_ ,”

Shoving Mangetsu and Suigetsu out of his apartment, Zabuza let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through his hair.

There was so much to clean up, too much to reorganize, but he felt tired to the bone.

Instead, he opted to crash down on the couch next to Mei, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he allowed himself to fall asleep, now free of babysitting duty.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think! :)


End file.
